MEdSI coming up!

Assalamualaikum! :)

So I'm going to sit for MEdSI this Friday at UMS. It stands for Malaysian Educator Selection Inventory. I think? Anyway, it's for those who are interested in continuing their studies in education for degree. Basically to become teachers.

Everyone was so nervous to get to know if they were selected for MEdSI or not. I mean, what else can they be doing if they don't even get selected for the test? How the heck are they going to continue their studies because all they applied for was teaching. Haha. So we all waited and waited and finally on the 18th, the results were out. I checked and yep, I'm selected.

Basically it's a test to see how willing you are to be a teacher as well as your personality. There will be 300 questions and you need to answer them in an hour. Someone told me that you need to finish all the questions and there's no time to play around and let your thoughts wander. Just read the questions carefully and clearly and then answer.

I hope that I will be able to do well and pass the test. I really need this. I just want and need to continue my studies in TESL. B. Ed. TESL. CEWAHHHHH. Never thought that I am actually growing up and going to continue my studies for degree! Please pray for me. Really. :)

I think I will post about the test after I've taken it and also a post about the UM interview. Well, who knows there might be future teens like me, wanting to continue their studies and wondering what it would be like. I truly understand their feelings. Wanting to know how the experience will be before going to the test or interview. So many questions in their heads. I was clueless when I was called for an interview for Foundation in TESL in UiTM. But I read some blogs and they were really helpful.

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. Seems like my mind has been focusing a lot on my studies lately. So nervous. In sha Allah everything will be alright. Okay. Tata. Ciao. xoxo.

Assalamualaikum. :)

Degree in TESL Interview...... at UM?!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. :)

It's 3.45am. Hm.

So about twelve hours ago, the students who applied for first year degree in UM got to check on their application. I checked mine at about 4pm because I didn't know about it until my close friend, Ereen told me. She is called for the interview. Alhamdulillah. So it took a lot of patience on refreshing the page because many other were checking their results, all around Malaysia. I probably refreshed like 50 times or so.

Anyway, I told Ereen that I'm sure I won't get called. I don't know why but I just felt that I won't. Why? Because my pointers were not as amazing as the others. With my pointer, I think the best university I can get is UiTM. However, Ereen told me to check first and we'll never know what Allah has planned. So I refreshed again and there it was, the page. I clicked on it, typed my IC number and.......

Alhamdulillah! I got called for interview! I was so shocked. I just didn't know what to think at that time. We're talking about UM, here. One of the top universities in Malaysia. Heck, it's University of Malaya. My father studied here. My sister studied here. Also, I've been here quite a number of times because of my sister. Visited her and such.

Anyway, I went down and told my parents. "Ma, Ika dapat interview UM." The look on my mom's face was priceless. And then I asked if I should attend or not and she told me to attend. I was speechless. I mean, if I don't attend, I might be able to go to UiTM, where I've been for 8 months. But I guess Allah has His plans. I'm just going with it. If I don't get UM, I still have UiTM. In sha Allah.

I told my friends and also someone. That someone happens to be in KL so, yeah. I was hoping to meet him on that day. We were planning on meeting in September or October but I guess we could meet in..... a week? I don't know. I'm so nervous. We've been looking forward to it and bam! NEXT WEEK. What is this. Lol. I guess I'll have to just go with it.

Right. Serious stuff. The interview. I'm pretty nervous about it because I've been in a cave for almost two months. Hm. I need to start paying attention to the news. I need to brush up my speaking skills and my vocabulary. This is TESL, we're talking about. As much as I wanted UiTM, UM is better, in a way? I don't know. I don't mind getting these two, really. I'll just do my best for both and in sha Allah, He will decide which is the best for me.

My other sister told me a couple hours ago that studying in UM might be a challenge because it's near to MidValley. Oh, the temptations! Imagine! Living in the middle of KL! EVERYTHING IS THERE! Sort of. If I really do pass the interview, I hope that I can make it through degree. I mean, UM is a whole new place. I might get culture shock all over again, like I did in UiTM. Hm.

Okay, so things are getting really serious now. No more playing around. I need to focus and study. I can't be a little girl anymore. I have to grow up. This is tough. Sometimes I wish that I can stay as a little kid. Sometimes I wish that I can relive my high school moments again and again and again even if it means having to wake up early and go to school and get back tired. I don't mind. But now. Things have changed. I am a grown woman. I am a lady. kekeke :v

Please, please, please, pray for me. Pray that I'll get through life easily. I hope I can. With His guidance. I know I can. I still need to get closer to Allah. I hope that wherever I might go next, there will always be someone who keep me in track. Who remind me when I do something wrong. Who tell me to do good deeds. I really hope someone will be there, constantly reminding me. In sha Allah. I really want to change.

Okay, that's enough for this entry. I guess I've been blogging quite a lot these days, huh? It's mainly because someone told me to. Well, I guess it's a good thing because then I'll be keeping in track of my life and my thoughts at the current situation. Plus, I can work on my writing skills. Heh. THIS IS A TESL STUDENT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. I still need to learn a lot. Okay. That's enough. Thank you for reading, if you did.

Fi hifzillah.

Assalamualaikum.

Edit.

So this is the REAL THING, on what happened during the interview. :)

Second Edit.

I got accepted! Alhamdulillah. You can read about it here.

Sebelum Aku Bernikah

Assalamualaikum! :)

It's 4am. 13th May 2014.

13th May, eh? In 1969, a riot happened between the races in Malaysia. I'm happy that after that, all the Malaysians got along. But today, things are... starting to be different. I don't know. I'm fine with my friends, let them be Malay, Chinese, Indian or Kadazan. They're all awesome people and I'm really glad that I have them in my life. Living in Sabah, there's no boundaries. I felt that everyone was just the same. Truly grateful with the harmony I lived in since I was born here. :)

Anyway, moving on. It's been a month and about a week since I got home. Still confused on what to do. Heh. I've finished a book though. It's called Sebelum Aku Bernikah by Hilal Asyraf. It's a really good book. Very simple yet meaningful. It tells a story(?) of Hilal before he got married. The feelings he had, trying to get that girl and finally getting engaged. It's not some cheesy love story. It's the things he did. It's about preparing yourself. Marriage is a huge thing. Marriage happens in a day but that.... status of being a husband or wife - it lasts for the rest of your lives. Unless you're divorced or something then Idk. haha.

It's so simple to just sit and get to know a person then saying to yourself, "I want to marry him/her." It doesn't work that way. It's..... more than that. This is someone you're going to spend your whole life with. Are you prepared? To wake up beside that person, to see that person when he's mad, having to do things he says when you're ohhh so lazy. Heh. Before stepping into marriage, consider changing yourself. Making yourself better. The most important thing is your faith in God and also your discipline. (and other things too but yeah I wanna talk about these two)

Faith in God. How strong you are? No one can judge it. You yourself won't know how good you are. Just keep improving. Do it for Him. In sha Allah, He will accept it. If you don't pray and you think that you're ready to get married? That's just plain wrong. Settle the simplest yet the most important thing is life. Your prayers. Five times a day. Better yet, more. Then after you get married, you can like, pray together with your husband then bring along your kids and build a super happy cute family. :')

OKAY! So... your discipline. Who is going to cook? Clean? Take care of your husband? IT'S YOU. If you can't be diligent for yourself now, how the heck can you take care of yourself AND your husband? It's a huge task, I tell you. I honestly have no idea how my mother managed to take care of the seven of her children and my dad. Especially me. o_o I feel like I'm the laziest of the bunch. Lol. But in a way, I managed to still clean things up. Ngeh. I still need to fix myself.

Umm. So. Yeah. Get yourself ready first before even thinking about getting married. Look at yourself and think, "Am I ready to share my life with another person and having to live every single day with that person with all the responsibilities in hand?" If no, then fix yourself. :3 Why am I typing so much. See how much a book influences me? Tukar topik, tukar topik.

So I have a lot of books to read. I have a driving license to get. I have a room to clean. I have a house to take care of. Most importantly, I have my faith to work on. I was lost, still am quite a bit lost but I think I found the light. I think someone is God sent. For some reason. I don't know. Why did Allah let him enter into my life? To change me? To make me better? That's what I feel. However, I hope that I'm not dragging that person to where I am now. I hope that in a way, I'm making him improve himself too. We're nothing but close(?) friends. He makes me happy and I hope that I make him happy.

Alhamdulillah is all that I can say. I got lost, I was found. Lost again and found. Two amazing men found me. I feel like they're God sent. First was David, honestly. Second is.... this dude. Yeah. Alhamdulillah. I know it's like I'm exaggerating but that's what I feel, what I think. I know they're not perfect but they made me realise how important religion is. I've lived until today because of Him. He gave me everything yet I was always forgetting. I hope I won't forget from this day on and until the future. In sha Allah.

I guess that is all for now. Pray that I'll be strong. (I miss someone, by the way and I hope when that someone reads this, he'll text me to say he read this. Heh. :v)

xoxo

Assalamualaikum.

just a dream~

Assalamualaikum. :)

So. I had a dream. It was beautiful but scary. I think I can still remember bits of it. I was kinda sad that I woke up, though. I was totally enjoying it. So here it goes......

I went into this mall, it was kind of dim. I was searching for someone and finally I found that person. Let's call that person H. So I walked up to him and we saw each other for the first time. I think we laughed for a bit. And then we went to hunt for food. Like I said, it was kind of dim so the place was dark and Idk. People were walking around, minding their own business. Then I saw a restaurant that sells sushi but we didn't go in there. We walked and walked and I was walking so fast that H was left behind. I was by this pillar and then H hugged me from behind like wtf. I was like wtf. Then for some reason, in my mind, I was like, "Zu, this is just a dream. It will never happen, don't worry." And then I turned to H and laughed. After that we went on searching for a place to eat. I then ran out and there were stalls. Selling takoyaki, ice-cream, fried stuff. Then I bought ice-cream for myself and H. Then surprisingly H hugged me from behind again and then H fed me ice-cream. Like what the heck was going on in my brain, really? =_= It was surreal.

Then I woke up and I was like, "ha ha ha Zu. Nice one." =_= That is all. I'm working on a story. A love story actually. It is kind of based on a true story. Not mine, someone else's. Their love story is painfully beautiful. It's true, I tell you. :) Adios for now.

xoxo.

wow.

I have been thinking. Well, lately I have been thinking a lot. Before that...

Assalamualaikum. How are you all doing? :)

I am doing fine. Great, actually. Alhamdulillah. I have been so blessed. What else am I supposed to say, actually? I am so grateful with everything. Specially lately. It's just. My world has turned a complete circle. I'm...... wow. I can't believe what happened. It's just so weird. Too good to be true. Unbelievable. It's like a dream. Is it a dream? I hope not. I pray that this is reality. I'm..... ah. Speechless. Every single time. I get speechless. Sometimes I just.... can't take it. I would keep quiet, take a breath and..... ah. It just hits me.

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OKAY DONE. BUT IT'S NEVER ENOUGH. This thing that I'm feeling. I have no idea how to channel it out because I am really, extremely grateful. Ya Allah. Why me? Why now? I'm not sure if I can handle this. AAAHHHHHH. I love my sayang so much. No, we're not together. I am single. We just have this connection. Wow. Somebody slap me. Am I awake? Most of the time I feel like I'm dreaming. Huh.

It's 5am. I shall sleep now. hahahahahahahah. okay.

Fi hifzillah.

Assalamualaikum. :)