twenty-twenty update.

 Assalamualaikum everyone!

Looks like it has been over a year since I posted here. So much has happened since then.

• I went to Chiang Mai with my colleagues and students <3
• We had family week with Harry Potter theme and it was successful and I LOVE the t-shirt (I own all 5 colours, this includes black).
• I became an assistant fellow again but this time at another residential college - it destroyed me.
• I worked for the first time ever in my life! Kenny Rogers Roasters and also at my university, both part time.
• I messed up my studies so bad.
• Went to Kuala Selangor for Sky Mirror with family. My phone fell into the sea (but the man managed to retrieve it).
• Spent time with family, went swimming, it was F U N.
• Got a new phone - S20.
• Coronavirus or covid-19 attacked the whole world.
• Movement Control Order for few months, had to stay in college, got free food from govt, kinda depressed, made new friends.
• Installed TikTok.
• Helped out in sending students back home safely.
• Got addicted to TikTok.
• Spent Raya in college.
• Got back home - finally.
• In a rut the whole time.
• Spent time with my family and nieces.
• Baked burnt cheesecake.
• Got engaged.
• Gained weight.
• Played Merge Dragons (got obsessed with it).
• Played Cooking Craze.
• Went to Mantanani Island.
• Stuck in a rut again.
• Watched 4 seasons of American Horror Story. (Murder House, Asylum, Coven, Freak Show).
• Gained so much weight. It's alarming.
• Spend so much time on TikTok.
• Enjoyed watching Brooklyn 99.

Basically that's it I guess. That is all for now. So much more is waiting in the future! I can't wait!

xoxo,

Zue.

Open House & Hauntu

Assalamualaikum.

I am writing this on my phone. It's currently 4.17am and I couldn't sleep. Honestly, I've been sleeping at 5am and waking up at 3pm almost everyday now. It's such a bad habit. Hope to change it soon! I tried sleeping earlier cuz I got sick and took my meds, but it wore off so I'm wide awake.

Anyway, I just finished my second semester of master's degree. I still have two more semesters to go. I hope everything will go smoothly. I will be starting my thesis now and I really hope I'd stay on track. The topic I might choose is very interesting and helpful, so yeah.

Oh, Syawal is almost over. I did an open house the other day!! Can you believe it?! I actually had people coming over to my house and served them food and drinks hahahah. I got so excited that I planned it two weeks earlier. In the beginning I only invited about eight people but it grew to about 18 people. Hahahah. I'm so glad they came. I made spaghetti bolognese and ordered some chicken rice. I even ordered brownies, bought juice boxes, made some drinks... what else... Munirah and Izzah brought burnt cheesecake! I also served some homemade cookies or kuih raya. Whew, that was something. My sister lend me her tupperware and stuff. She's so kind I could just cry. I still need to returb them asap though. Maybe this weekend I'll drop by her house. Anyway, I'm so happy that many of them came!!! Izzah, Munirah, Master, En Hilmi, Cik Azura, Shafiq, Sandra, Haziq, Engku, Ecah, Awatif, Rachel, Alicia, Vinie, Farah, Khaliq & Cik Syafiqah. Eeep!!! Heheheh I love them all ♡

Besides my open house in KL, I also did one at home, as usual. About eight of my friends came? That was awesome. Oh ya, I also went to a few open houses. I'm like so happy???? Hahahah. I went to my sister's, Azfar's, Aiza's and Munirah's. Not much but I still felt happy. Though I didn't get duit raya. Haha! But damn, I did get a lot from my family. I'm sooooo grateful. Oh yeah, I used some of the duit raya I got to do my open house. Hahahah. That's how I was able to afford things. Can you believe how expensive things are??? Damn. I am still learning to organize my spendings. Huh.

Hm, since it's semester break, I was thinking of working. I did find a place and contacted the person in charge. But.... I haven't replied to him. I have to take the typhoid injection and then list out the days that I can work. I've scheduled everything for Monday-Wednesday but I had flu and fever and didn't do what was planned. It's already Thursday 😣 I hope I'll get things done soon.

By the way! I forgot to mention about Hauntu. Hahahahah. I went to Hauntu with Azfar, Eleena, Aiman, Aimi, Nash, Kash, Irfan, Sanjeev, Azwan. It was Episode 1: The Thief. Honestly, I really didn't want to go cuz I am scared of ghosts and such. Nash didn't want to go too. So days, hours, and even minutes before we entered, we kinda regret our decision, got so nervous and wanted to back out. Hahahah. But it was all planned and booked so we went in anyway. The beginning was cool. The first half was cool too, all the interactions and the things we had to do with the characters. The following parts were interesting. But it ended so quickly. It wasn't even that scary. It was just suspense and urgency. Yup, honestly I expected more but I guess if they were to really do real ghost stuff, real ghost might come. Hahahah. You know? So everything had to be fictional and not related to the ~real ghost world~ if you understand what I mean. So yeah, because of that, I'm looking forward to Episode 2: The Tourist. It'll take place from July until December, probably. I hope to go again with the same group of people!! But if they're busy, I totally don't mind going with Nash alone or with other people.

Okay, I guess that's all for now. I think today is going to be one of those days where I don't sleep the whole day. Hahahah. If I sleep, I'd be sleeping until noon. So yeah. I'm just going to stay up and tire myself until tomorrow night.

Till next time,
xoxo,
Zue.

life update

Assalamualaikum.

It's currently 3.17am. So, life updates since I last posted here... well,

I'm taking my master's degree.

I'm an assistant fellow in my college.

I am obsessed with Game of Thrones (finale is this coming Monday omg!!)

I finally got my driver's license (like, few months ago).

I got fat, but am trying to lose weight lmao.

I became fellow advisor for PROSPEK and BETAS.

That's it I guess. but. one more.

I become isolated from society.

Since I'm living alone, and I don't have much classes, I often stay in my room. I'd go online, or read a book, or sleep, maybe eat. I can't really afford to go out like I used to. So I only go out when asked and if I can. Usually my significant other would pay for my food, so it seems like I only go out with him. But yeah, I really can't afford to go out these days. So I don't even bother asking anyone else to go out.

This made me feel utterly sad. Lonely. Truly, I felt and am still feeling alone. Because I live alone and have no roommates. Hahahah. Plus the friends I have here have their own friends, so :(

THIS SUCKS. BIG TIME.

I should probably start working, though. At least I get to earn money and socialize. But that's the thing. I'm probably scared of working. I've never worked my entire life. Yup, it's such a big step for me to actually work and earn my own money. I hope I get past this fear.

Anyway, I'll post more soon, maybe. About the friends I made during PROSPEK and BETAS. They taught me a lot and I really love them. (or maybe I just got attached idk hahahah)

It's week 12 and I have so many assignments to finish. I just pray that I get to ace this semester!!! USAHA!!! DOA!!!! TAWAKAL!!!!! IN SHA ALLAH! AAMIIINNN!!!!

bye.

xoxo,

Zue.

Say You Won't Let Go.

I've been listening to this and...... I guess this is how James feel towards Jessica.

I want to cry. My heart is :')

and his favourite line is "I wanna live with you even when we're ghost, cuz you were always there for me when I needed you most."

and the beginning of the song is "I met you in the dark, you lit me up. You made me feel as though I was enough."

...

"we danced the night away, we drank too much, I held your hair back when you were throwing up."

I know he drinks too much sometimes and I don't know. I feel like, this IS him.

I know he went through a lot and Jess was by him even when he was the worst version of himself.

You know, this is just what I feel and interpret through reading articles and watching his interviews.

No matter what they went through, they persevere.

moving a machine

Assalamualaikum everyone!

In this post, I want to talk about driving! My story though, not tips or anything.. just my experience.

Well, I took my driver's license test years ago but I failed at the veeerrryyy beginning and then I just got demotivated, so I stopped. Heh. Almost everyone was questioning and was upset.. but oh well, it happened. Anyway, so fast forward to now, I'm currently taking the test again since I have free time.

So my mother found me a tutor and on the first day, of course, I was required to sit for a 6-hour class about driving. I met a lovely girl and we immediately became friends! Haha. After that's done, I asked my tutor to set a date for my computer test. Honestly, I'm someone who needs to study and so I did. Haha! I read the textbook and try to comprehend everything. I sat for the test and thankfully I passed! Got my L license after that, which means I can start driving the car with my tutor around/in the circuit.

Now moving on to the real driving. Well, first, I had to learn about the RPK (Rutin Pemeriksaan Kenderaan) and RSM (Rutin Sebelum Memandu). I watched the videos on YouTube and later my tutor taught me what are the important things I need to remember and do when I undergo the test. Soon, he taught me the basics of driving, which are about the clutch, gear, gas, brake. Being somewhat an ignorant person, I have never, ever knew nor understood about driving a manual car until I learnt about it. So yeah, that was the first time I understood the mechanics of driving.

It was difficult at first because the engine kept.... dying? What's a correct word for that? Haha! I meant to say 'mati enjin' lol. But after much encouragement and tips from my tutor, I practiced more and I finally got the hang of it! However, I still make that mistake sometimes. Anyway, the first time I knew how to handle it, my tutor told me to drive home with him by my side!!! OMG. I was so nervous but he guided me well, telling me when to change the gear and reminding me about being aware of the surrounding.

I'm so grateful because he really taught me well and I enjoyed his method of teaching. He gives you real life examples and he explains things really well. Anyway, I kept going for the lessons every couple of days or so. Learnt how to drive at the S course, Tiga Penjuru, Z course, side parking and going up the hill. I learnt all these in two weeks! I still need to practice and get used to them. To be honest, I just learnt the side parking today. Haha! And I finally understood and could go up the hill with minimal guidance. I really do hope I can advance further and take QTI. I hope I will pass the QTI and then I can schedule for a JPJ test. Honestly, I can't wait to finish this!

Once I'm done, hopefully I'll get to drive around town HAHAHAH. I'm just kidding man. I don't even know what I'll do next. Ooooh, I would still have a P license for two years though. Huhhh.

Anyway, to those of you who are going to take their driver's license, all the best! Just know that you can do this, and never give up. Even if you feel like giving up, remember why you want to do this. Also I kept telling myself, "be the car. I am the car." hahahah. Please pray that I'll pass my test and I pray the same for you too. :)

Thanks for reading until the end, if you did! I might write another post when I finally get it done.

xoxo,

Zue.