Saturday, July 4, 2015

odd void.


It's semester break. However, I'm in college for some orientation stuff. It's kind of an exciting thing, you know? To be the facilitator, you need to go through some interview and camps and then you'll be chosen. I've been dreaming for this since my orientation week. The facilitators during our time were so awesome. They were pretty much the reason why I wanted to be a facilitator for the junior's orientation week.

So far everything have been great except for the fact that I kept distancing myself from everyone. I have no idea why. I was in this particular state a couple months ago but one of my friends managed to pull me out from it. My friend knocked the sense into me. I felt happy and such but then as time passed by, I found myself slowly drowning into this odd void I can't simply forget and run from. My friend told me to face it but I just. I don't know. I've lost myself. I feel like I'm losing my friends. Heck, my friends are always there. It's just me. My mindset. My over thinking. That sucks. I hate this.

Anyway, that's why lately I've been laying in bed, playing some games, watching YouTube videos and sleeping. I wasn't as active as I was before. Maybe the environment changes everything. I'm so going to miss my seniors. They were the ones who made my first year in UM very exciting and memorable. I kind of lost direction after Karviter and FESENI ended. Haha! I was more focused on my studies but still, I was lost. Couldn't find myself. This is so weird, What am I experiencing actually?


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