still about the void

Been feeling down lately. I have no idea why.

No mood to 

- talk to people

- watch videos

- watch the television

- clean up my room

- write a blog post

- read a book

- write in my journal

- do creative stuff

- eat

- give a dang about people

Hm. Saddest thing of all is that I have no appetite to eat. I only eat one meal a day and sometimes it would be instant noodles, other times it would be some cookies and cheese. I don't know. I just don't feel like eating at all. I know it's unhealthy to have empty stomach but really, who cares? I'm doing just fine. Heh.

I couldn't careless about people too. Like, who cares. I don't care what you think or say. Just too tired of talking to people and having them listen to what I have to say. I don't know. I just don't care anymore. Although I crave someone's attention right at this moment, I keep telling myself that things have changed and.... people change too. You can't expect things to stay the way they were. Change is inevitable. Be it good or bad.

Blegh. I'm just looking forward to start my degree. Or maybe not. Haha! I have a lot of things I looked forward too but now I just feel so empty and lazy to do those things. Where did the motivation go? I have no idea. I guess I'll just have to....... pick myself up. I know I can get through this. It just depends on the amount of effort I'm willing to put. It's still weird that I hope for people to push me and motivate me. I guess I'm just used to growing up with motivation. But now, I feel so lost.

I know it will change soon. In sha Allah. For now.... Minggu Haluansiswa at UM. Totally excited (or not) for it! Can't wait to meet the admin for their Twitter account. :3 The cheers, the varsity jacket, just everything. New adventure!

I should stop now. It's 4.30am. Fi hifzillah.

Peace be upon you. xo.